"...and over there with Andrew is Mark Schwimmer from marketing."

"uh-huh."

"He looks busy so we'll talk to him later. Did you get a chance to meet Andrew?"

"No, not yet."

"We should go talk to him. He usually doesn't come to these big staff meetings. Antisocial, I guess. Now, over there is-"

"Hey, who's the naked guy?"

"Huh?"

"The naked guy right there." Eric pointed to a spot over by the wall, barely visible through the crowd. Bernie squinted and tried to follow Eric's finger.

"Huh? I don't see any... HOLY SHIT!"

"What?" John Bradley from Finance walked up just in time to overhear Bernies exclamation.

"There's a naked man over there!"

"Where?" John smiled, assuming that Bernie was up to another one of his jokes.

"Right there." Bernie pointed. "See?"

"No."

"Oh, come on John. Tell me you don't see a naked guy standing right there against the wall..."

"Okay Bernie, I don't... WHOA! Who the hell is that?!"

"Who's who?" said Mack, the infamous gossip from Engineering.

"That guy there." said John. Mack looked and frowned.

"What guy?"

"The guy! The naked guy standing right there!"

"HEY!" said Mack.

"Who is that?"

"I don't know... don't have my glasses on. Looks like Bob Franklin from Accounting." guessed Mack. Actually, the man in question bore only a passing resemblance to Bob.

"Oh, shit!" shouted John. "Bob's naked!"

The entire room stopped.

There was a sudden shout from the other side of the room as Bob Morrison, assistant to the VP of Marketing, noticed a sudden draft, looked down, and found that he was completely naked. With a yelp, he spilled his drink all over Beth from Human Resources and made a run for the ballroom door. Unfortunately, Big Debbie from Finance had just entered the room. Hearing the commotion, she stopped and tried to guess what was going on. She turned multiple chinned-head just in time to see a naked man running towards her, and then she quickly fainted in the most dramatic way possible. Bob hopped over the huge woman and made for the parking lot.

Stifled laughter and gasps of shock reverberated around the room, but they were suddenly drowned out by the sound of all hell breaking loose. Bob Anderson, also from marketing and also quite naked, began to scream in a most unmasculine fashion. He was joined by Robert Joyner from Engineering and Bob Darren from Computer Support.

It seemed that everyone named 'Bob' chose that exact same moment to realize that they had come to the inter-departmental staff meeting completely naked. This included Barbara Williams, the only female member of Engineering, who some time ago was given the nickname 'Bob' by her male coworkers. All three of men did their best imitation of Bob Morrison, while Barbara found it simpler to join Big Debbie in an impromptu slumber on the floor. Fortunately for her, Richard Jenkins of Accounting was kind enough to throw his sport coat over her before she caught a chill, but not before he took the opportunity to finally settle the debate over the natural color of Barbara's hair. (Brown.)

Things didn't turn out quite as well for the three males, however. Anderson and Joyner collided with each other and landed in a rather compromising position in the middle of the floor. Darren tripped over Joyner's outstretched leg, made a graceful windmilling motion with his arms, and landed on top of the still-unconscious Big Debbie, who promptly woke up and then fainted again after finding a naked man on top of her. Darren scrambled, trying to regain a more dignified position, but was accidentally kneed in the head by Anderson as the naked marketing rep attempted to leap over him. As it turned out, it took almost a full minute for the room to be cleared of naked Bobs. Bob Darren dashed for the men's bathroom... as if suddenly remembering that he had left his clothes hanging in the far stall to dry. Robert Joyner joined Bob Morrison in the parking garage, and Bob Anderson made the vital mistake of running out the front door and into the downtown midday lunch crowd.

Curiously enough, Bob Franklin from Accounting was spared the indignity suffered by his namesakes since he had chosen not to attend the staff meeting.

...
"...and finally, a group of streakers was arrested today after descending on the downtown Hyatt Regency, disrupting the staff meeting of mega-technology firm Ry-Systems. Four men and one woman: Robert T. Darren, Robert F. Joyner, Bob Anderson, Robert George Morrison and Barbara Williams were arrested after they reportedly removed their clothes and streaked through an inter-departmental staff meeting being held at the Hyatt. All four men are... or were... employees of Ry-Systems. A reported sixth streaker was not identified or apprehended. Police say that, despite his nakedness, this sixth man was unable to be captured due to conflicting descriptions from witnesses. Ry-Systems gained infamy last year when this station leaked news of illegal experiments in subliminally-induced mind control being conducted at the Ry-Systems research facility in..."

"Cut that off!" grunted Bernie. The bartender reached up and changed the channel, then returned with two beers for Bernie and Eric.

"Boy, that was somethin' wasn't it, Bern?"

"What? The meeting?"

"Yeah"

"Yeah, if you like naked guys."

"What about Barbara?"

"I couldn't see shit. Richard was too fast with that coat. What about you?"

"Nothing. Wonder what made 'em do it?"

"Beats me."

Bernie drained his beer an one long gulp, and then signaled to the bartender for another.

"Well, it's back to the old grind, tomorrow."

"Uh-huh."

"You think any promotions will come out of this?"

"Yeah, but not for us. You gotta know somebody who knows somebody to get anywhere in this company. Guys like us... they just stick us in the research lab 'till we come up with something useful. Feed us shit and keep us in the dark... only let us out for staff meetings."

"You know a lot of people, though, Bern."

"Yeah, I've been here a while. I guess I might have a shot at something... But you... you'd better just get used to the lab-"

"Hey what's that?" Eric was pointing out the window at the busy intersection.

"What?"

"Out there....What the hell..."

"What?"

"Aliens! Bernie... ALIENS ARE LANDING IN THE MIDDLE OF PIEDMONT AVENUE!"

"What are you talking - OH SHIT!! ALIENS!!!!"

[END]

copyright 1998 by Marc Washington (Dark Icon)