Tonight, like all nights, the forest was alive with the sights and sounds of those creatures that called the woods just outside of Montfort their home. Owls and rats. Rabbit and deer. Predator and prey. But tonight, the woodland creatures were not alone. Tonight, they shared their abode with three intruders from the city just beyond the hill.

The first (mostly) human was a tall, muscular hulk of a man with pale skin and hair like pure snow. His sky-blue eyes seemed to glow with an inner light as they surveyed the clearing in which he stood. Waves of sub-freezing cold, neither subtle nor gentle, radiated from his large body like heat from a roaring fire. The grass beneath his expensive, immaculately clean boots had already succumbed to the cold... crackling with a loud 'crunch' whenever December shifted position.

The second (only remotely) human stood beside him. He was taller than his companion by at least a foot, but his thin, emaciated form contrasted sharply with December's muscular bulk. The man wore only a dusty cloth around his waist, and his dark-brown skin hung off of him like scraps of old leather. His bald head glinted in the light of the full moon. His long, bony arms ended in knotted hands... each finger tipped with a single black claw. N'Doki's eyes were bloody, sinister red, and they too seemed to glow as he
watched the forest around him.

At N'Doki's feet was a pile of neatly-folded clothing... black leather armor to be exact... that belonged to neither of the men. The armor belonged to the third visitor to the woods... a woman. She was naked now, but she neither knew nor cared. If she were capable of speaking, she would have explained that she wasn't TRULY naked... she wore the clothing of her new shape... the thick, matted fur of a large she-wolf.

"ROOOOOOOOO!!!!" The wolf howled as she chased a large deer into the clearing, oblivious to the men who stood there watching her. N'Doki's magic kept both men cloaked to all of the wolf's heightened senses, but perhaps some part of her still knew they were there, for, as if putting on a show for them, she chose that moment to go for the kill. She leapt, and her powerful lupine legs propelled her forward. She clamped down on the buck's leg and felt the hard bone crack in her jaws. The buck stumbled. It fell. The she-wolf released its leg and sought a new target... the jugular that pulsed in the buck's neck. She bit down once more and ripped a good portion of the animals throat completely away. The buck kicked and struggled... but only for a second or two. Even as its brain fired its last impulses, the wolf began ripping bloody strips of meat away from the carcass. She ate like the wild animal that she was.

"Interesting," said December. His voice was deep and smooth.

"De hunt?" replied N'Doki. His voice was as deep as his employer's, but his tone was rough and unsettling. "Or de kill?"

"The hunt," said December. He watched the wolf tear off another chunk of the dead buck. Neither man seemed affected by the bloody spectacle. They had both seen worse, and N'Doki considered the whole affair quite tame. "Wolves are pack animals. They hunt in groups... rarely alone. Yet Zade performed adequately well on her own."

"De creatures of de wood are not so rigid as you would tink. Alone or wit de pack, a hungry wolf will hunt. It will feed."

"Zade's individuality is quite pronounced. She is rugged and independent.... one of her most distinguishing characteristics. I think perhaps some of that remains, even in this form."

"I tink you reach for tings dat are not dere," said N'Doki. "None of de woman remains in de wolf. I sense de animal spirit... not'ing else."

"That is most disturbing," said December. "She is the same now as she was last night. There is no evidence of improvement."

"You should not haf gottin involved wit dis one," said N'Doki. "You knew from de beginning dat dis would happen."

"True, I have been aware of this for quite some time. However, I assumed it would come with some degree of control, thus making Zade all the more powerful. And powerful she is, but I cannot allow this... creature... to roam the streets of Montfort during every full moon. The resulting deaths and carnage would eventually be traced back to her... and me."

"And dat, we cannot allow."

"Can your magic provide us a solution?"

"Hmmm... de wolf spirit is strong, as is de spirit of de woman. It is de nature of tings dat dey strike de balance by demselves-"

"Do not lecture me. Can you do something or not?"

"Yes, but N'Doki's magic is not delicate. I can do what I haf done before: I can contain de uncontrolled spirit within de human, but de effort will do much damage to de woman's soul. She will be flawed... not like she was. N'Doki do somet'ing similar to dis before, no? Do you remember-"

"Clearly. We have been down that road before, and one psychopath on the payroll is quite enough."

"Perhaps she is better off de way she is, no? More valuable..."

"I am well aware of the advantages of her condition. But this lack of control negates them completely. If you are right, if there is no hope of control, then our options are quite limited. There is only physical containment... or termination."

"Dere is anodder option. But you will not like it."

December turned to look at N'Doki.

"I spoke wit de spirits before de night began," the necromancer continued. "And dey say dat de key to controlling de wolf lies wit'in de woman's mind. Dey say dat she has de power, but dat she must seek it out... she must grasp it for herself."

"Highly unlikely, considering that Zade is still unaware of her own condition."

"Dey say dat she is close to discovering her nature, and closer still to grasping de control dat you seek. De spirits are never wrong."

"Your 'spirits' have already been wrong on several matters of much importance."

"Right and wrong are a matter of perspective. What you see as one way, de spirits see as anodder. We say dat dere is no way to help de woman. Dey say dat if we truly seek to help her, we should leave her be... and she quickly will seek her own destiny."

"You were right. I do not like it."

N'Doki shrugged.

Zade had eaten her fill of the buck, and was vigorously sniffing the air around her. Drops of the buck's blood fell from her lupine snout like a steady, red rain.

"Very well; she has one month," said December. "This is the last night of the full moon. If there is no improvement by the next one, then we shall have to take certain measures..."

"And what of tonight? De night is still young..."

"I trust your magic can occupied and away from the city until morning."

"De wolf shall hunt shadows and phantoms till the night is no more."

"She should awaken in her room. Unharmed and Untouched."

N'Doki nodded and smiled, revealing his perfectly white teeth... all filed down to sharp, carnivorous points.

---

Zade awoke slowly, like a feather floating to the ground. Remnants of dreams wafted past her mind as it sought the waking world. They were odd dreams... not nightmares, but still far enough from the centerpost of normalcy that they left an unsettling mark upon her consciousness. They were odd dreams of running and hunting and eating... and chasing shadows that she could catch. Except for the shadows, the dreams were familiar. She'd had them several times since...

Since when? Since what? Zade couldn't remember.

Zade felt a faint tightness in her muscles and joints. It wasn't exactly pain, but it didn't feel right either. It, too, was familiar. She'd felt it before. Whatever it was, it faded quickly when Zade stretched her long limbs and rolled over in her bed.

"mmmm... getting old..." she mumbled to herself. The movement of her lips sent something cascading down her cheek. Still half-asleep, Zade wiped it away with her fingertip. Her finger came away moist. "huh?"

Zade opened her eyes for the first time that morning, and saw the blood on her hand.

"What the-!?"

She sat upright and wiped her hand across her lips. There was more blood. She looked down at the pillow. It was red as well. Zade threw the covers back. She didn't know what she expected to see, but there was nothing there except her own naked form. The blood was concentrated on the area of the sheet near her head.

Zade reached under her pillow and retrieved the sharp dagger she kept there. It was still there, and its blade was clean. She hadn't cut herself by accident... as if she would ever do such a ridiculous thing. In fact, she hadn't cut herself at all. There was no pain. No injury.

Was this blood even hers?

As she climbed out of bed, Zade tried to remember what she had done last night. She had had a few drinks at the... no... no that wasn't last night. What happened LAST night? She thought back to the evening hours. December said he had something special for her to do. She remembered leaving town... headed towards the woods as the sun set...

And that was it. There was nothing else except the dreams. And the blood.

Was this blood December's? What had she done? What had HE done?

Zade reached the old full-length mirror that stood in the corner of the room. She turned it around and stood in front of it, intending to examine her face.

Only it wasn't her in the mirror!

There was some THING glaring back at her! It was hideous... part woman, part wolf. Covered with thick, matted fur and blood.. BLOOD dripping from its bared fangs! It snarled silently at her with a horrible ferocity made worse by the sinister intelligence in its eyes. The blood...

And then it was gone.

Zade was looking at herself in the mirror... her own naked body. The fur and fangs were gone, but the blood was still there. The blood on her face. On her lips, just as it had been on the creature.

"What the hell?"

Had she imagined the thing in the mirror? It seemed so real... but it couldn't have been. But what about the blood? What about the hours she couldn't remember? What had happened last night?

And what had happened the night before?

Zade's heart quickened as she realized that this wasn't the FIRST time she'd awakened with no idea of where she had been or what she had done. The blood was new, but the raw, empty space where her memories should have been... that was all too familiar. It had happened the night before last, just as it had happened last night. And before then... when? Weeks ago.

What was happening?

Zade backed away from the mirror. Not from fear of what she had seen, but from fear of what she WAS seeing. What was happening to her?

Her breath quickened, and she fought the urge to panic.

"What's happening? Who... who's blood is this?"

Her mind raced... straining to fill in the gaps and to come up with some explanation. The fear urged her on, and her efforts bore fruit. Flashes of images and insight... words... scents...

Scents?

Things didn't make any sense, but yet... they did. They were falling into place. Injuries that should have crippled her... healed in days. Bursts of strength and energy that she'd never experienced before. Strange cravings for meat...

Why wasn't she hungry? Because her stomach was full. Full from WHAT!?!?

What was it that Blaymore had said to her that day? He had tried to warn her... to tell her something. To tell her that she was... was... not human anymore?

"Gods..."

The thing she'd seen in the mirror... was that HER!? Is THAT what Blaymore had been trying to tell her?

It couldn't be! No... no there must be some explanation.

But that WAS the explanation.

Blood... blood that wasn't hers. Missing memories. Waking to a full stomach. Dreams of running and hunting and... eating.

"No... no... no, not me... no..."

Yes.

Something inside her stirred... shifted just enough to let her know that it was there. Just enough to tell her that no matter how hard she tried to deny it... it would still be waiting.

Waiting for...

"NO, what's HAPPENING TO MEEEEE!" Zade screamed. "It's NOT ME! NOT
MEEE!"

The blood... the blood... who's blood was it? The animal. The buck. Zade's jaws clenched as she re-lived the end of the hunt. She tasted the buck's flesh as she ripped it away.

"NOOOO!"

The dam broke, and the memories flooded forth. They overwhelmed Zade, forcing her to her knees. Tears of fear and rage and frustration streamed down her face, mixing with the blood that still cooled there. She opened her mouth and screamed silently. The memories came... Chain. Blaymore. December and N'Doki.

And Sottie.

Sottie.

Zade heard Blaymore's voice, asking her:

"You must have been bitten recently... can you remember when you were around any wolves? How about Sinterbourne or Vendredi... "

Not Sinterbourne. Not Vendredi. Sottie. The brewery. The night that Sinterbourne had sent her there. The dogs. Not dogs... wolves.

Werewolves.

"SOTTIE YOU BASTARD!"

Not even bothering to wipe the blood from her face, Zade snatched a set of leather clothing/armor from her closet and got dressed. She grabbed her whip, some throwing stars, and a large hunting knife.

Then she stormed out of the room... on her way to slaughter Sottie Inebridee.

She slammed the door behind her, and left her bedroom empty and motionless.

For a while.

A few seconds after she had left, the mirror in which Zade had seen her lycanthropic reflection shuddered briefly. The glass rippled like water... and a figure stepped out of it as if it were walking through a door.

It was the monstrous reflection... the grotesque woman/wolf. It paused outside the mirror, and then its form changed. The fur vanished... the curves straightened... the skin darkened. The eyes grew blood red.

N'Doki peered around the room.

"De spirits are never wrong," he said to himself. "But sometimes dey need a bit of help..."

N'Doki spoke a single, arcane word... and then vanished.

---

[Zade]

Zade reached the edge of the brewery's property and kept going... straight for Sottie's office. She knew he would be there. She could SMELL him.

Of COURSE she could smell him... thanks to what HE had done to her.

She saw a few of the workers look in her direction.

She hoped they would try to stop her. She REALLY hoped they would.

Zade's fingers curled into tight fists.


---

It was a perfect morning, marred only by the one thing that marred all mornings: sobriety. The vicar of intoxication rubbed the softness of his ale belly. At least his breakfast of rice and rice wine could be trusted to take the edge off the unholy condition. Rice-bowl in hand, Sottie Inebridee strolled through the Japanese-style gardens of intoxication surrounding the Inebridee Brewery. He smiled at his many friends, lady Opia, the spirit of
the opium poppy, Moon puff, the spirit of the puffball that had proven a most useful aid in the management of Amanda's lycanthropy and of his own, psilicibie a pert little mushroom spirit, cannabisia and so many others. The ace of cups basked in the morning glory of his best of friends.

Sottie pushed Eastern symbols engraved on the metal studs next to the carved stainless gate with practiced ease. The combination was a prayer to the gods of drink, something he had no trouble remembering even in the cruel grip of sobriety. The paragon of tipplers entered the enclosure and the gate slid silently shut behind him. He was within a huge ornate cage of stainless bars perhaps 30 yards across. Some believed that the enclosure guarded riches, and in a way it did. The thick foliage of grape vines and trees afforded the proper shade for the dark lady, a rare flower known most commonly as the black lotus.

Sottie approached the flower, his fingers sliding fondly over her dark petals, as he took a dainty breath of her scent. Any normal man would have instantly succumbed to her dark power, and his body would have fallen to the ground near her roots. Under her spell he would have slept and dreamt euphoricly while her tendrils penetrated his flesh and drew the life out of him. She was a seductress, but like the black widow, she bedded a man only once.

Sottie's vision wavered as the doors of the dark lady's dream world opened before him. It was always a pleasure to see the beautiful yet deadly spirit of this plant. The yogi's body staggered past the dark flower and, appropriately enough, assumed the lotus position atop a carved stump on the other side of the thicket in which she grew.

[Dark Lady]

"You again!," she sneered but a smile tugged at the purple-black edges of her full, sensuous lips. Most of the men and women she had known were but brief encounters, supplying her with the life force and nutriment that sustained her physical existence as a rare magical plant. The black lotus was normally found only in remote areas of Iffreann, for common folk went out of their way to destroy the deadly plant.

Few men had been able to provide her with the proper conditions to grow under cultivation, but the vicar of intoxication catered to her needs like a courtly poet pampered his lady. Most of the humans she had an ongoing relationship with were magicians who carefully harvested her perfume through the use of un-living servants or devices, or bartered with those who did, but Sottie was the exception. The fool would walk right up to her and caress her petals. He had been less familiar at first, but as his tolerance for her essence grew he had become much bolder. She hated him because she could not take him fully, but she loved him because he tempted and flattered her endlessly, and joined with her again and again. He was the only man she had known in over a millennium who had a relationship directly with her, and for this, she rewarded him. He did not, as others, steal her perfume and use it for dreams and divinations at a safe distance, shunning her deadly embrace. Instead the idiot strolled into her embrace and back out, as if she were simply a black rose, how she hated him for that, and loved him for it in the same moment.

[Sottie]

"But of course my lady, no morning would be complete without a taste of your magnificent beauty." The yogi of intoxication grinned jovially as his mind caressed the dark lady with a practiced familiarity unheard of for ages.

[Dark Lady]

"Uchchch, you are insufferable," the lady squirmed with pleasure. "I will tell you something just to be rid of you. There is a necromancer who was speaking to the spirits about your pack's newest bitch," the lady's sneer deepened jealously. "He is an ally of the vicar of winter, and both of them know of your bitch's condition and of her inability to control it." Lady lotus's words came in bursts between deep gulps of ethereal air as the
vicar's mind pleasured the nature spirit as no other man had.

"...Her body is strong, but her mind," The lady lotus scoffed. "The necromancer sought the advice of the spirits. He considered caging the beast in her mind with his power. I advised leaving her be to follow her destiny. I said she had the power within her mind and a master at hand to help her unleash it, and that it was her destiny to become one with the spirit of the wolf, as she is now one with the spirit of the, the wah-wa-aaaah." The dark lotus squealed and shuddered with pleasure. "Whip," She sighed as she faded from view.

[Sottie]

The inebriate's eyes fluttered opened. One with the spirit of the whip? Sottie wondered what the lady lotus had meant. Perhaps Zade had received training in that weapon from an Eastern master? The fakir of the magic of intoxication did not know. It did not occur to him that the dark lady might be referring to the current state of Zade's temper. He left through the gate on the opposite side of the enclosure and made his way towards his office. Mornings were not a time of power for the ace of cups, for the taverns were closed and the number of intoxicated people was at its nadir. It was a time when Sottie attended to his businesses and to his administrators, for he was not yet so intoxicated as to be out of touch with their worldly thoughts and needs.

The huge brewer entered the office building, waved and winked at the receptionist as he passed, then bounded up the steps, the sun glinting from the coppery-colored skin that marked his mixed East Indian and Mongolian heritage. "You are looking most magnificent this morning Amanda," Sottie greeted his secretary and the pack's omega wolf with a smile.

[Amanda]

Amanda blushed. She frequently found herself in the odd position of hating and loving her stupid drunkard of a boss at the same time. If he was not so appreciative and charming, nor so firm in his belief that the curse of the wolf was a blessing, she would simply have hated him, but his joviality was as infectious as his bite, and Amanda could not help admiring him for the way he danced around the ancient evil of the alpha female and many of the other pack mates, handling the politics of the group in a way so foreign and artful that it spun pack traditions dizzy.

"Good morning Brewmaster Sottie. I left the latest brewery production reports and account summaries on your desk. Accounts are up. Inebridee Pale Ale sales continue to rise. We're having some trouble keeping up with the demand."

[Sottie]

Ah, thank you Amanda. It could be we will need to add a second shift. I shall review the reports as I play a melody in honor of the great feminine beauty our brewery is so blessed with." Sottie grinned as Amanda rolled her eyes. Sottie smiled jovially as he entered the inner office and closed the door behind him.

[Amanda]

Amanda shook her head as a beautiful melody came from the inner office. No doubt the brewmaster was playing his stainless flute while he read the reports. What a contrast he was to the alpha female. The brewmaster was the artist, the creator, while Aria was as ruthless and deadly a business person as she was a lupine predator. She was the iron paw, and he the velvety soft fur that surrounded it. Amanda cocked her head, someone was rushing up the corridor outside the office...

[Zade]

*WHACK!*

THUD!

Zade planted her foot on the chest of the man she'd just knocked unconscious and walked not-too-lightly over him on her way to Sottie's office. Despite about a half-dozen people trying to stop her, Zade had rapidly made her way to the center of the brewery. Each encounter with a guard or brewery-worker only made her more angry. Was she dealing with them so easily due to her skill and strength... or because she was a werewolf?

Thanks to Sottie, she'd never know.

So he had to die.

She stormed right up to the huge sturdy doors at the end of the corridor and nudged them open with a spinning back-kick-

KRASH!

She stood in the now-open doorway and surveyed the room. Sottie's office was just one more door away. She ignored the young woman who came toward her and marched toward that door...

[Amanda]

Amanda remembered the distinctive dark-skinned woman. Who could forget her? She was the subject of much discussion in the pack. Aria, the alpha female maintained that she was a stupid bitch who would soon get herself killed, while Sottie, the alpha male, maintained she had talent and karma, whatever that was, that would see her through. The wolf wizard Rafe said that she had the essential ferocity of a wolf. The warrior-bitch Rendella said that considering her tender age, she was an accomplished warrior. Shadow-rogue Dersh, who was usually the one to watch her from a distance using one of the wolf-wizard Rafe's spy scopes, asserted that she was sexy, while Aria maintained that Zade's allure was simply the product of her shapely body, but that there was only as much real heat between her thighs as there was in December's eyes. All this came up in the split second she saw the woman cross the room. Even from her brief exposure, Amanda could tell that Zade was as mad as a hornet.

"ZADE! Amanda howled the woman's name as if it were a warning, then jumped up to follow the black amazon, for she knew she would not be able to reach Zade before the woman was in the brewmaster's office.

[Sottie]

Sottie removed the flute from his lips. One look at Zade streaking through the door told him he needed a drink. A really BIG drink, but even without such fortification, the yogi of intoxication tried to rise to the occasion:

"Zade! to what do I owe the pleasure...

[Zade]

Zade resisted the urge to unfurl her whip and lay into the obese brewmaster... she'd most CERTAINLY whip him to death later, but right now she wanted to get up close and personal.

"YOU BASTARD!" she screamed at the top of her lungs... which was very, very loud. She walked around Sottie's desk and grabbed him by the throat "WHAT DID YOU DO TO ME YOU SONOFABITCH!!"

Her right hand drew back in a fist, and she fully intended to send it right through Sottie's fat head.

[Sottie]

"Do to you?" asked Sottie, with a note of confusion in his voice. "What seems to be the problem? Mayhap I can help."

[Zade]

"Help!?!" Zade sneered. She leaned in closer to Sottie's face. Her eyes narrowed with barely-contained fury. "You KNOW what you did! Undo it NOW and I will kill you QUICKLY!"

[Sottie]

"What did I do? Sing an Aria to your beauty that you want unsung?"

[Amanda]

Amanda was about to grab Zade's elbow from behind, but turned and ran out of the room when the brewmaster spoke.

[Sottie]

...You assume I know much about something, yet I am but a simple priest of inebriation, an artist of brewing, an herbalist with knowledge of things intoxicating. If you plan to kill me, then perhaps you would like to find out if you are killing the right man before you resign yourself to being hunted by the tower guard for no reason."

[Zade]

"You know good and well what I'm talking about!" Zade sneered. She saw Amanda flee the room, and was hoping that the woman had gone to fetch the guards. Zade would enjoy breaking them into pieces before she did the same to Sottie. But first she had to make Sottie confess... he had to say it with his own drunken lips...

"The dreams! The blackouts! Wounds that heal too fast! You turned me into
some kind of MONSTER! NOW I WANT YOU TO DENY IT SO I CAN CRUSH YOUR FAT NECK LIKE A GOD'S-DAMNED CHICKEN BONE!"

[Sottie]

"Blackouts, wounds healing,?" The ace of cups raised an eyebrow. When did you first notice these symptoms and what connection might they have with me?

---

...elsewhere...

[Aria]

The pack's alpha female looked up from the books and ledgers of the Montfort Mine. It appeared that Amanda, the breathless omega, had just sprinted down the hall to her office at full speed. Aria was the daughter of Aeragar, the alpha male of the former great werewolf pack that had served the church of the redeemer and paid the ultimate price for its choice of allies. Sottie had been able to preserve only a handful of the ancient wolves when he came with the mages of the Grey Mansion, as a guide and martial artist, to destroy the pack's godling, Yosogoth. At that time Sottie was already a werewolf due to a nearly deadly encounter with Aria and a few pack mates months earlier.

Aria's hair was long and black with a somehow exotic blend of white and gray that matched her charcoal coat when she was in lupine form. She was one of the few people around the brewery who did not look exceedingly small standing next to the brewmaster, for Aeragar was a huge wolf, and his daughter stood perhaps six and a half feet tall in human form. At one time she had looked the part of the ruthless, psionic, amazon warrior-wolf, the kind of daughter one would expect Aeragar to have, but after leaving her birth pack, things had changed.

Aria admired and had embraced the subtlety and finesse that Swami Inebridee used instead of the rage and force of her father. Though her muscles were still as hard as ever thanks to workouts with the warrior wolf Rendella, one would never guess that such was the case. Currently Aria's figure could best be described as voluptuous. Though she wasn't exactly fat, the extra weight she carried on her extravagant breasts and elsewhere, amplified her feminine curves and gave her a decadent look that was somehow appropriate for the Inebridee pack's alpha female.

[Amanda]

"Zade has murderously stormed into the brewmaster's office. He asked for you ...I think."

[Aria]


Aria smiled and licked her lips as she picked up the packet of sweet meats from beside her desk. "If you think he asked, then he did," she said leaving the office with Amanda and trotting down the hall after her."

---

[Zade]


"Notice!?" Zade hissed. "NOTICE!?! Don't you GET IT! I REMEMBER! YOU! The HUNT! EVERYTHING! That night I came here and your wolves attacked me! They DID something to me, and I remember it ALL! Now, the NEXT thing out of your mouth better be an explanation of how you're going to UNDO what you and your hounds DID to me... or the next thing going INTO your mouth will be my FIST! Followed shortly by my BOOT!"

[Sottie]

"Unusual that you would remember so much at once, yet since you do remember everything then you will also remember my sincere warning not to attack the brewery, for the gods would punish you. Von Sinterbourne was a fool who saw sheep where there were wolves, and he sent you to do his blasphemy against the deities of intoxication. I admire your style Zade, but I am a priest of the gods of drink. Any who violate the sanctity of this temple are cursed with a curse worse than death, whether I like them or not," Sottie paused to let the information sink in.

"...Yet the gods can show mercy. On a personal level I believe I can forgive you because you have talent and most interesting karma, as I am sure Mr. December, who forgave you for working for his enemy, would agree. You violated the temple so you are cursed. Now that you realize the nature of your curse, I cannot render any more aid to you until you first fix things with the gods, for it is their power that must be used to help lighten your burden. You might have been killed that night, but instead your worthiness was tested by the young woman whom you nearly murdered, and by her elder sister, both of whom were protecting their home and livelihood. Had you failed their test, the gods would have rendered another curse, perhaps a far less pleasant one. If you make things right with the gods of drink, you will be given the opportunity to become one with the spirit of the wolf as you have become one with the spirit of the whip."

[Aria]

"Her temper will get her killed long before that, the little fool," the sarcastic snarl of Aria's voice bit through the air from the secretary's office. Her pace had slowed from a trot to a stroll as she had entered from the hall.

[Zade]

Sottie's words slid off of Zade's mind like water from a turtle's back. In fact, they only angered her more. She snarled at him... literally snarled... unaware that her teeth had grown long and sharp. She wanted to bite him. She wanted to rip his throat out with her teeth... but the intruder changed her plans temporarily.

Zade released Sottie and turned to face Aria. She sized the woman up... she wasn't a warrior from the looks of her... but her attitude was simply the last straw...

"Whoever you are, this isn't your concern. But since you're here, I'm just gonna have to-... wait..."

Zade sniffed the air that was blowing past the woman.

"YOU'RE ONE OF THEM, TOO!"

Suddenly the color drained from Zade's vision, and a low growl rumbled far back in her throat.

"RAAAAAGH!" Ignoring the multitude of weapons she carried on her person, Zade charged Aria like a rampaging bull, fully intending to bite off one or several limbs. She took two steps, and a sudden convulsion jolted her. Thick fur sprouted from her skin, and her leather armor bulged and wrinkled as the body underneath began to transform...

[Aria]

Aria entered the room as Zade convulsed, she closed the door behind her, turned the key, jerked it out of the lock and flipped it at the brewmaster without looking back at the door. Her movements were precise in an unconscious sort of way, as her attention seemed to be directed to taking a brief sniff of her underarm. "My, my, forgot to drink that perfume from the medicine demoness this morning. I nearly _always_ remember," the werewolf thought to herself. Aria looked at Sottie accusingly.

Rather than braining the drunkard, the little bitch was now coming after Aria herself. The wasted swami's luck never ceased to amaze and mystify the ruthless lupine. It was one of the reasons she kept him around. The other was... Aria grinned, her grin lengthened as she transformed into a wolf. Her speed, nearly that of water being poured into a new container, was the result having been born a werewolf and a psion, raw talent honed by centuries of practice. Of all her pack mates, she was most adept. Her age, birthing and mental powers gave her a decided edge, thus she was the alpha female.

[Sottie]

The key was well-tossed but the effort was wasted on the ace of cups. Sottie was far too busy with more important matters. The key merely bounced off his ale belly and skittered under the desk. As soon as Zade had released him, he had produced a fifth of Thunderspirits from one of his desk drawers and had begun guzzling the liquor with preternatural speed. The alcohol seemed to be in as much a hurry to get down the drunkard's throat as the drunkard was in a hurry to guzzle it.

[Aria-wolf]

The wolf, Aria, shrugged out of her loose-fitting clothes, directing a powerful warning snarl at the silly puppy whose form-fitting armor could only be a liability for a shape-shifter. She met Zade's attack with a certain disdain. Already Zade was proving that her temper would make her a liability. The pack didn't need liabilities...

[Zade-Wolf]

Zade's wolf form wrestled with the clothing that had once fit so well, but was now like a leather trap. Snarling and fighting all the way, the wolf slipped free of Zade's clothing and continued her charge. The fact that her opponent was now a wolf as well made no difference... in fact, to her, Aria had ALWAYS been a wolf from the moment she walked in the door. The human eyes had merely failed to see it.

Zade leapt at the large canine, intending to grab her by the neck and either snap it or rip out the tender throat. Aria deftly hopped to one side, avoiding the incredibly slow and clumsy attack. Zade landed beside her and immediately twisted to close her jaws around Aria's neck. Aria was faster. Her own teeth grabbed Zade's neck and bit down hard.

Zade grabbed a mouthful of Aria's flank and tried to tear the flesh from her ribs. Aria bit down harder, spurring Zade into desperation. Snarling, she tore herself free, losing some fur from her neck, yet coming away with some of Aria's skin as well. Zade's injury was more serious, but it beat the alternative of having her throat crushed in Aria's jaws.

However, as soon as the wolves separated, their wounds began to close. To Zade's human/wolf mind, the rapid healing was a confusing mix of new and familiar. To Aria it was old news... she knew the strengths and limitations of her lycanthropic form... Zade did not. Pity for her.

Aria took the offensive, determined to show the pup how a TRUE wolf made and attack. She leapt at Zade with blinding speed. Zade's wolf mind knew what to do... how to react... but the human within her muddled the reactions... it tried to THINK instead of trusting the lupine instincts. And as a result, Aria collided with her and forced her back. When Zade turned away, Aria's jaws snapped at her exposed throat... but in a move that surprised Zade's wildly confused human mind, Zade twisted and rolled away at the last second. Snarling, Aria gave three rapid snaps at Zade's retreating face. Zade backed away... she trusted the instincts now, but this time it was the wrong thing to do. Aria backed her into a corner, something a human fighter would never allow to happen...

Her prey cornered, Aria rushed forward. Zade made a magnificent leap, intending to leap over Aria and land behind her. Aria twisted and snagged Zade's hind leg. She bit down HARD, and twisted her strong neck like a whip...

WHAM!

Zade hit the ground... Hard. She yelped in pain and astonishment. The human knew that she should be hurt, the wolf knew that such a blow meant only minor, temporary damage. They fought for control... and were still fighting when Aria landed on top of Zade and closed her jaws around Zade's lupine throat.

All it would take now was a flex of mighty muscle and it would be over. Both fighters knew this. The wolf within Zade tried to fight. The human tried to think of a way out. As a result, the Zade-wolf did nothing but squirm and whine...

[Aria]

Aria held Zade's neck in her powerful jaws; her growl was wet with warning. The pup would have to learn about the dominance hierarchy of the pack. The alpha male and female were to be respected, and challenged only by the worthy in good time. It was a social structure as old as the lupine species. The wolf pup within Zade would feel the kinship and need, but Aria doubted the warrior woman would be able to swallow her anger and pride, to embrace the wisdom and companionship of her brother and sister wolves as her best hope for survival.

[Zade]

Zade continued to squirm and paw her opponent for several minutes... all to no avail. It was no use. Zade was trying to fight as a woman in a wolf's body, knowing nothing of the strengths and weaknesses of her new form. As a result, her opponent had her literally by the throat, Zade had no idea what was going to happen.

The wolf within her also struggled for control... it wanted to yield to what it knew was a pack-mate... the Alpha Female. But Zade's own ego would not let it surface. She knew nothing of the pack and its hierarchy... She didn't WANT to know. Such things were for beasts, and she refused to become one no mater WHAT her body looked like...

[Sottie]

The yogi of drink finished the lion's share of the fifth of thunderspirits and then came around to the front of the desk. His reach into the brotherhood of intoxication was extending. As the alcohol permeated his blood Sottie came in contact with drinkers everywhere. Somewhere on the other side of Iffreann it was happy hour, and the spirit of intoxication was strong. The vicar of drink assumed the lotus position, seating himself on the floor just in front of Zade where she was being held in the jaws of the alpha female. Charged by his hundred proof yogic breath, the scent of pure alcohol permeated the air around him like an aura of power.

[Zade]

The scent of alcohol stung her sensitive nose as it passed into her lungs. She growled deeply, but did not move.

[Sottie]

"I believe I can understand why you are angry at me, Zade. Although I am personally sorry for any pain you have suffered, the gods make no exceptions. Each person who violated the temple was cursed by their power. In your case you encountered my people who were merely defending their homes against vicious marauders, but you chose the night of the full moon for your attack, and met wolves rather than women. As chance would have it, the omega bit you deeply trying to get away while you were strangling the young woman. The other ruffians with you secured somewhat more traditional curses from the gods. Yet you did not escape their wrath. Would you expect less from an attack on a great temple? Was it not obvious this was a great temple?" Sottie raised an eyebrow and motioned to the stainless steel-framed French windows behind his desk. Through the windows twinkled the glassy surfaces of the brewery buildings, beautified rather than destroyed by the power that had devastated Montfort, and beyond the buildings the majestic Alestein Spire rose to such heights it scraped the sky.

Sottie smiled. His voice was soft and calming, as hypnotic as the vapors
that surrounded him. His words seemed to be addressed to all of Zade's
mind, even though it seemed separated into the mind of the human and that of
the wolf. "I like you Zade, I think you know that. I think you knew that
the first time you stepped into this office. Your beauty, talent and karma
are strong. I would like you to look at what you now believe is a curse.
Perhaps it could be made a blessing; have you considered the possibility?

You told me your memories have surfaced. Then I am sure you grasp the
significance of your being tested rather than destroyed while you were here
attacking the brewery. Perhaps you will get yourself killed as the result
of the choices you made that night, but while you were unaware of your curse
we did not abandon you, but instead I invited you on a hunt to introduce you
to your new form, and to the instincts of the wolf, to give you good solid
lupine memories, and to keep you from getting yourself killed by the tower
guard for devouring the citizenry before you realized the gods were
punishing you."

"Since then I have kept an eye out for you, and, in my own oblique way, I
made sure your employer knew of your condition, as new werewolves are
notorious for getting themselves killed by others and for killing
themselves. Yet the realization that one is a werewolf, if it is forced
upon a person, can do great harm. Thus you were given time to realize what
you have become. I have a great deal of respect for Mr. December, for he
too has given your mind time to adapt."

You find the spirit of the wolf foreign. It is the curse of lycanthropy
that you have been taught to fear. If you retain this attitude you will do
what virtually every new werewolf has done before you. You will seek to
dominate and control the spirit of the wolf with your will. You will fight
the spirit of the wolf, and you will loose. You will loose because the
force of your will, your revulsion and your anger will enrage and empower
your lupine self and your power to reason will be lost. You have just
demonstrated that this is true. You will loose because you will be fighting
part of yourself, and if you succeeded in killing part of your own mind, the
rest would die without it. This seems most dire, does it not?"

"You believe I am your enemy, but have you considered your unique karma? I
might just as easily be the best friend you have. Sottie raised an
eyebrow. "I know you fought a man called Chain. Let us assume that Von
Sinterbourne had never sent you to attack the brewery, but all other events
in your life were the same. How would your battle with Chain and his gang
have gone?... Would I be gazing into your beautiful, living eyes today?
How about this psionic fiend, the man who set the hell hounds upon the women
of Montfort? We followed that story with interest, and are as proud of your
heroism as the women of Montfort are grateful to you. Without the
protection of what is presently a curse, would you have gained victory in
that battle?...

"But for some considerable inconveniences, you might instead look on
yourself as blessed. Your senses are sharp, you are quick, strong,
invulnerable to many attacks, and the slow rot of age will never touch you,
for the spirit of the wolf is immortal. If you will make amends with the
gods of drink, I will be able to show you a different approach to being a
werewolf, the approach of oneness. There are certain exercises,
intoxicating substances and hypnotic techniques that can work to your
advantage. The experiences and approaches of your fellow wolves can also be
invaluable. To be successful, however, you must accept yourself as you are,
and take responsibility for what you did. If you make things right with the
gods and open yourself to their mercy, then I will open my home and talents
to you, and we will work diligently to help you."

The swami of drink, nodded slightly, and Aria released Zade's head from the
iron grip of her jaws. The expression on the alpha female's lupine face was
one of dubiousness.

Sottie raised his chin exposing his throat. "Now, if you believe that I am
your enemy, and that ripping out my throat will solve your problems, I give
you that opportunity. If instead you desire me as a friend and wish me to
help you, then you have only to drink to the gods of intoxication and
sincerely ask their forgiveness for your violation of their temple at any
house of worship or drinking establishment."

[Zade]

Though the words sounded strange to her lupine ears, Zade listened to
Sottie. She understood what he said... and it only made her all the more
angry.

How DARE he try to make this into some kind of benevolent GIFT!

Still, she knew that he was her only hope of either ridding her self of this
curse, or learning to control it. And Zade wasn't stupid enough to think
that Aria would honestly let her rip Sotties' throat out. More likely,
Zade would very quickly find herself torn apart. Fighting Aria in wolven
form was out of the question... Aria had years of experience in what she
was, while Zade had only realized her curse this very morning.

But Zade would NOT be some lap-dog. She yearned to tell him how wrong he
was... but all that came from her lips were growls and grunts.

[Sottie]

Sottie nodded and spoke directly into Zade's mind and aloud as one. "As a
priest I have certain talents. We can both understand you even in this
form, Zade. Perhaps you would find it more convenient to speak aloud
rather than think to us, but your anger and agitation has you locked in your
current form."

[Zade]

The words tumbled from Zade's human mind without the use of her lupine
snout... reaching directly into the minds of both Sottie and Aria. "A
blessing? A BLESSING!? You changed who I am... WHAT I am... without my
knowledge or permission. What you've done to me is worse than rape. Worse
than murder... you violated my body AND my soul. You've placed something
inside me that I have no CHOICE but to either accept or die fighting it. I
don't WANT to live forever! I don't WANT to be stronger or faster! I
don't WANT heightened senses or reflexes! And even if I DID want those
things, I would rather FIGHT and WORK for them than to have them THRUST into
my body in some bestial act of spiritual RAPE! It doesn't matter what the
benefits are, the fact remains that you VIOLATED me in the vilest, most
disgusting way possible! Now, EVERY battle I win, I will owe to YOU... A
RAPIST! You've done more to me than I EVER would have done to you that
night. Better than I had DIED than have some stranger reach into my body and
CHANGE whatever they saw fit without bothering to ASK me or even TELL me
they were doing it! What you have done isn't some petty crime, it is EVIL!
You AND your gods KNOW IT! Your violation of me places you among the
slavemasters who raped and abused me when I was but a child. THEY tested
me, TOO... wanted to know if I was WORTHY of servicing them. The FIRST
one said that his violation was for my own GOOD... that it would ease the
pain caused by those who came AFTER! He said that I would benefit from
it... and eventually ENJOY it! Don't even BOTHER telling me how what
you've done is any different from that, because it ISN'T! There IS NO
difference! THOSE men are dead and gone, but their evil lives on in men
like YOU! You are DISGUSTING, not because of what you are... but because of
what you DID TO ME! And HOW many other souls have you RAPED!?"

[Aria]

Aria looked on Zade as if she were lower than the slime of the sewers.

[Zade]

Zade turned to Aria. "You? Did YOU have a choice in this? How many of you
ARE there? Did any of THEM have a choice, either?" Zade locked eyes
with Sottie. "Now, you will either undo it or help me to control this thing
you've put inside me... you'll do it not because I passed some TEST and you
found me WORTHY... but because YOU were in the wrong! If you cannot or will
not do that, then KILL me right now! It would be no more of a vile act
than what you've already done to me."

[Aria]

"Did _I_ have a choice in this?... Bitch! Aria growled, her telepathy
unkindly loud in Zade's mind: "I stalked the forest before HE was born.
You tried to kill a little puppy for defending her den, and you think you
were violated when she bit you, I'll show you violation, you ungrateful
excrement!" Aria snarled and lunged.

--- Once again, her powerful teeth sank into the delicate flesh of Zade's
throat. They began to pull...

[Zade]

"Go ahead, bitch" Zade 'said' calmly. "But if you think I fear pain or
death then you know nothing about me or any other warrior. Only animals
and cowards fear such things, and I am neither. I already SAID I'd rather
have died than ended up like... you. Or were you too busy sniffing yourself
to listen? Killing me will just be doing me a great big favor...maybe
saving me the trouble of doing it myself. But it won't change ONE DAMNED
thing about how I feel! I'll die knowing that I'm right and you're just an
animal. So go ahead and do it... if your master will allow it."

[Aria]

"You fool, you think that drunkard could really run this pack? You err in
judgment once again, but this time you will enjoy the full consequences of
your stupidity."

Aria bit down slowly, savoring the taste of Zade's blood.

"You are a brat who feels sorry only for herself. Since you are too spoiled
to take responsibility for your own aggression against my home, I will
gladly grant your wish and feast on your miserable carcass."

[Sottie]

"Please" The ace of cups shook his head sadly.

[Zade]

Zade neither 'said' nor did anything. Though she was in pain, she was
content to simply wait to see what would happen.


[Aria]

Aria snarled and increased the pressure of her jaws, Zade's blood ran
over Aria's lupine lips and splattered the floor in a gradually increasing
shower.

[Sottie]

For the first time since Zade had seen him this day, the brewmaster looked
genuinely worried. "Zade, you act as if I sought you out and had you bit
with the premeditated malice of a callous slave master. Certainly I noticed
your beauty, but I am no stranger to beautiful women, I might remark that
this or that woman would make a fine wolf, but I have never had one bitten
because she was appealing. Do not blame me for your fate. It was you who
thrust yourself into my life, and at that time I got some sense of your
karma, some connection with whips and dogs, but I did not seek you out, nor
did I force you to attack the brewery on the night of the full moon, or
twist your arm to make you try to kill the omega of the pack, nor did I
influence the way your combat went, or influence your body's immune system
to be overcome with lycanthropy. That was your choice, and perhaps your
destiny, but it was not my doing. It was a matter between you and the
gods."

"I am only guilty of defending what I love, as is the young woman who bit
you, but I can see you will never take responsibility for your actions. It
is obvious that you are incapable of trusting me, for you see my actions
only in the darkness of your own hatred. You do not understand that it was
you who held the whip this time; it was you who forced your way into our
home and workplace and tried to kill a young woman as casually as you would
snap a twig. Your men murdered my watchman in cold blood, and I am sure you
would have murdered anyone else who tried to put a stop to your crime. You
have become what you most hate. Like your former masters you have no regard
for the homes and livelihoods of others. You kill and maim and hurt as
casually as you eat a meal."

"To some degree, I can tolerate the evil of your profession if it is not
directed at me or mine. Wolves are predators, after all. I understand the
world can be a harsh place where the strong survive, but how can I help you
Zade? If you cannot accept the consequences of your own actions, how can
you accept what has happened to you as the result of your affront to the
gods and your battle with the omega? I am powerless even to get you back
into human form in the face of your present anger. To complicate matters
you have offended the alpha female and I am powerless to stop her from
killing you. I was going to offer you a drink if that would help, but
beyond that, my hands are tied. The gods will not allow me to use their
power to aid you until you have made amends with them."

[Zade]

Zade's listened to Sottie's point while Aria continued to apply pressure to
her throat. If Sottie was telling the truth... IF... then he hadn't done
this to her on purpose. At least not with the forethought and intent that
she'd first believed. Perhaps he WAS just defending his property that
night. She could understand that... if it were true.

Perhaps her getting bitten was completely unplanned... or maybe it was. How
would SHE know? Perhaps this WAS just a consequence of her actions. She
could accept that... if it were true. But Sottie had more than a few
opportunities to tell her what had happened to her before now. His refusal
to do so made her suspicious of what he was saying now. Could she believe
him?

"Make amends? You want me to apologize? Fine. The night I came here I had
nothing personal against you or whatever imaginary gods you claim to
worship. I'm sorry. As for whether I deserved THIS or not, that's
debatable. So is what role your NOT TELLING me when you had the chance
would have played had I gone off and eaten someone's children... who's fault
would THAT have been? You don't want to help me? Fine. I can see why
you wouldn't. But seeing that doesn't help me, now does it?"

[Sottie]

"Aria, please, I know in your mind she deserves death, but you know who she
now works for. Consider the danger to the pack if Mr. December were to take
affront at your killing one of his employees."

Aria hesitated for what seemed an eternity. The pool of blood on the floor
widened considerably.

[Aria]

"I am the mother of the pack, and I will not allow even my own pride to come
before their safety. I have seen what that leads to," Aria said coldly. I
am beginning to believe this drunken swami is right about your karma. The
brewery, the battle between Sinterbourne and December, Chain, the
hell-hound psion, and now this. You should be dead five times over at
least, but the gods and powerful men like December keep intervening to save
your pretty ass.

The alpha female flexed the muscles of her lupine neck and catapulted Zade
against the carved steel desk as if she weighed no more than a rag doll.
What are the gods saving you for, bitch? Are you planning to do something
great one day?" Aria scoffed and licked her lips, savoring the taste of
Zade's blood as she left the room.

---

Zade awoke in the care of Clussh, the healer. It was past noon, though she
had no idea whether it was the same day or not until she asked. It was.
Zade was disappointed that she wasn't dead, yet relieved to be back in human
form. If she had to endure this curse for the time being, she would rather
endure it in human form as much as possible.

Her neck hurt. The muscles near her throat were tender and raw... but the
wounds seemed to have been several weeks into the healing process despite
being only a few hours old.

Zade gathered her belongings... her form-fitting leather 'armor' and her
various weapons... and settled the matter of payment with the healer.
Clussh asked no questions about Zade's injuries. Nor did she saw what
condition...human or wolf... Zade had been in when Sottie brought her there.
Zade knew that, even if Clussh knew about her condition, the healer would
keep quiet about it. Skilled healers were rare, and healers that could
keep their mouths shut were even MORE rare... those that couldn't usually
ended up missing or dead. However, no threats or conversation of any kind
was necessary... Zade simply made payment and left.

She took the long way across town. She was late for work, and December
would no doubt be upset... but she still needed time to think. Her mind
chewed on the details of what had happened... and of what was GOING to
happen the next time the full moon rose over Montfort. Or the next time
her temper got the best of her. Full moons could be anticipated and
dealt with... but Zade lost her temper almost once a day. She knew this.
She even enjoyed it. But now, if she intended to live with her curse, she
would have to keep her emotions suppressed. Such control simply wasn't in
her nature... but it would have to be. She would have to change who she
was in order to keep herself from changing.

Then there was the other option. Death would certainly be preferable to
living as some part-time monster. And it would be a lot safer for everyone
around her.

It was clearly the better choice.

But how did one kill a werewolf? Getting her throat torn half-open didn't
seem to work, and she doubted that going back to Sottie and asking him just
HOW she could kill a werewolf would produce any answers. Perhaps December
knew...

The thought of December brought up another issue. Sottie had implied that
December knew about Zade's condition. Why didn't HE tell her? What was
HIS reason for letting her walk around thinking she was human? Or was
Sottie lying about December altogether.

Perhaps she should simply ASK December...

Zade had arrived at her employer's shop before she even realized she was in
the neighborhood. She'd been so lost in her own miserable thoughts that
she was totally unaware of her surroundings. That was often a deadly
mistake in Montfort's rough streets... but it wasn't as if some simpleton
could simply sink an knife in her back and expect her to die. Not any
more.

Zade stood before the House of December and gathered her thoughts. Then
she opened the door and entered the recently-renovated store. The formerly
pristine white carpet had been replaced with an equally-pristine dark grey
one. The various display cases were now arranged more like a store than a
museum, as they had been before. Most of the impossibly expensive jewels
and items had been relegated to the store's upper level, while the more
affordable pieces were displayed in tasteful, elegant settings where the
patrons could view them and not be intimidated by thousand-carat
monstrosities that would even give pause to royalty. Sales had certainly
increased as a result...not that December needed the money. Even without
the income from the store OR from his criminal empire, December was easily
one of the richest men that Zade had ever met.

"You are late," said December. His huge icy form dominated the space
behind the counter. December's white skin and hair, and his sky-blue eyes
marked him as something more than human.

As opposed to something LESS that human, like Zade.

"Yeah, I'm late," Zade snapped in her 'so-what?' tone. "I'm late with a
lot of things... like figuring out things that were PERFECTLY OBVIOUS to
everyone else. So how long have YOU known?"

Zade wondered if he were going to play the same silly game that Sottie
had... pretending that he didn't know what she was talking about.

"From the beginning," December replied coolly. The chilled air rolled off
of his shoulders like an invisible waterfall. "I am no stranger to
creatures of myth and magic. J'Hasp recognized the scent the first time he
encountered you in VonSinterbourne's mansion. You were as unaware of his
presence then as you were of the affliction you had acquired that same
night."

"All this time," said Zade. "All this time... why didn't you tell me?"

"Would you have believed me?"

"You could have found a way to convince me."

"I could also have had you killed... along with all of Sinterbourne's other
employees."

"And why didn't you? You asked me to join you instead... why? Because you
thought I was a warrior worthy of fighting on your behalf... or because you
thought you could find some use for a WEREWOLF in your organization!"

"Both."

"BULL! You didn't want ME... you wanted this CURSE I'm carrying around!"

"You and the curse are one and the same."

"Oh, you're a philosopher now, is that it?!"

"No. You... like many others when faced with difficult situations... are
failing to accept the situation for what it is. Unfortunately, acceptance
is a prerequisite for change... the second cannot occur without the first."

"Hell, you didn't accept ME for what I AM... you wanted me because I'm this
THING!"

"If that is how you choose to see it. But what do you think would have
happened if someone ELSE had been so afflicted? Would I have approached them
as I approached you? Would some drunken simpleton have made such a
valuable addition to my organization simply because he was a werewolf?
With you, I have acquired fighting skill, resourcefulness, experience,
bravery, ruthlessness... all qualities that will not change with the
addition of lycanthropy. In fact... they may improve because of it."

"You didn't TELL me when you had the CHANCE! What if I had... had lost
control and started slaughtering people!"

"Certainly you are not misguided enough to believe that I would allow such a
thing to happen. You have been watched-"

"WATCHED?! By WHO? Eric? Lovvorn!? That... that pet THING of yours,
J'Hasp!?!"

"You were not as alone as you often believed you were. If problems had
emerged, certain steps would have been taken."

"You just have everything PLANNED OUT, don't you!? You don't have enough
muscle in your organization... so you hire the werewolf you discovered
working for the competition! You don't know how much TROUBLE she's gonna
be, so you have your GOONS follow her until you're sure she'll work out!
Never even BOTHER to tell her that she's a DAMNED MONSTER!"

"Everything I do, or do not do, is for a reason."

"Well, THANKS A LOT! That just CLEARS EVERYTHING UP! Everything's JUST
FINE NOW, because YOU HAVE A REASON!"

December didn't say anything. He simply stared at her across the
counter... his cold blue eyes fixed upon her face.

Zade forced herself to calm down... just a little.

"Well, you're just gonna have to find another monster," she said.

"What are your intentions, Zade?"

"You know every damned thing... haven't you figured this out yet? I didn't
get my problem permanently solved for me this morning because I work for
you. Well now I don't work for you any more. I quit. I WOULD tell ya
where you can find some werewolves to replace me, but you probably already
know THAT, too!"

"You cannot quit," said December. "You know far too much-"

"Find. FIND me and KILL me, then... but you'd better do it fast or I'll
have saved you the trouble!"

Zade turned and stormed out of the store.

Zade never saw what happened afterward... she never saw that her shadow,
cast onto the carpet from an overhead light... stayed BEHIND after she left.
The dark outline lay like a black stain on the grey rug... then it spoke.

"De spirits say dat dis one will haf a hard journey ahead," said N'Doki's
voice. "But de realization itself has already brought her much closer to
de control dat she, and you, will require."

"She goes to injure herself... what do your spirits say about that?"

The shadow shrugged.

"Assuming she chooses to live, how long will it be before this ceases to be
an issue?" said December.

"Very long," N'Doki replied. "If de chile chooses to liv... she will
struggle wit herself for many days. De question is, do YOU haf de patience
to see dis troo."

"I have patience in abundance. But I will not allow her to endanger me...
or others under my protection. Her termination is still an option... even
more so now that she has foolishly chosen to leave."

"Shall N'Doki follow her?"

"No. Let her have this time to calm herself and rethink her own course of
action. If she fails to return by nightfall and she still lives... Hood
will take care of her."

"And de body?"

"Yours to do with as you wish... minus whatever damage Hood inflicts."

Without a face or a mouth... the shadow smiled.

---

She walked for hours, and eventually she found herself by the river, where
the traders and fishermen were unloading their wares. Thieves and beggars
crowded around them on the odd chance that something valuable was left
unguarded. Zade walked past them all without speaking. She didn't meet
their curious glances, or return their mumbled greetings. The crowd
thinned as she followed the river through the city. Eventually she was
alone, standing at the edge of an old, unused pier. She looked down at
her reflection in the water. Her reflection looked back.

She didn't know how long she stood there, and she didn't care. She had no
desire to be anywhere else.

"Nowhere at all," she mumbled under her breath.

She felt the rotting planks beneath her swaying in the river's current.
She also felt them give ever-so-slightly as someone walked up behind her.
A quick sniff told her who is was. She didn't bother looking... she
wouldn't have seen anything anyway.

"Not creeping around in the shadows, Blaymore?" she said.

"Why bother?" came a man's voice from behind her. "Invisibility frees one
from needing darkness to remain unseen. You, however, always know I'm
here."

Zade shook her head and continued looking down at the river.

"Planning on throwing yourself in?" said Blaymore.

"Drowning isn't my preferred method of suicide." Zade replied. "I don't
even know if I CAN drown."

"What happened to your neck?"

"My preferred method of suicide didn't work out the way I thought. I got a
hickey instead."

"You know now, don't you?" said Blaymore. Zade felt the invisible
assassin move beside her. "You know that I was telling the truth all
those times. You know that something is wrong-"

"If the words 'I told you so' some out of your mouth.... never mind. Say
what you want. I don't care anymore."

"That doesn't sound like the Zade I know."

"It isn't. She died months ago... at the brewery."

"Oh? Then who am I speaking with now?"

"Some wolf she-bitch who was too stupid to even know she wasn't human.
Hell... everyone else seemed to know EXCEPT me!"

"You are what you are, Zade. You have to cope with it."

"Oh? And what do YOU know about coping!? You always RAN AWAY from every
problem you've ever had!"

"What do I know about it?" Blaymore's voice had grown deeper, and there
was an edge that wasn't there before. Anger was something Zade very
rarely heard from Blaymore... at least not anger directed at her. "What do
I KNOW!? I didn't feed the haste-potion to the pregnant woman in the slave
pens... but I got stuck with the result. I was four years old SIX MONTHS
after I was born! When I cried from hunger or pain, my voice was too high
pitched for any human to hear! Even now, I have to enter an altered
state of consciousness just to INTERACT with a human being! Now you talk
to me about NOT COPING!?!"

"I'm sorry," said Zade. "I didn't mean-"

"You never do," said Blaymore. "And that is one of your many problems. You
think that what you MEAN somehow changes the outcome of your actions. If
it's business and not personal, you expect there to be no repercussions to
what you do. You protected a man who kidnapped innocents and fed them to
wild animals for sport. NOW you help protect one of the deadliest
criminals on Iffrean. You never expected something like this to happen?"

"I expected that one day I would be too slow...or too weak. Or that an
opponent would just be better than me. And that as a result I would die
doing what I choose to do. I did not expect, or deserve, this."

"You're still alive, which is MORE than what you deserve given your current
associations and your line of work."

"Noble words from someone trained as an assassin."

"My training is irrelevant. I sought out the man who could help me control
my curse. He did that and much more... the fact that he ran a school for
assassins was of no consequence."

"But the man who can help me... IF he can help... wants me to worship some
silly gods and accept some ridiculous-"

"Whatever it is, I suggest you do it."

"No."

"You think I never did, or said, or believed in things I didn't want to when
Sayvair was teaching ME?"

"But you aren't like me. We BOTH know that."

"So what ARE going to do?"

"Sometime between now and the next full moon," Zade said with stern
resolution. "I will... meet the warrior's fate that I deserve."

"Coward," said Blaymore.

"Coward? For not wanting to become an animal... I'm a coward?"

"Werewolves are not inherently evil-"

"You think I care about that? Good? Evil? You think that makes a
difference?"

"I think you are unaware-"

"That's the PROBLEM! Every fight I've won since the brewery... was it
because I was the better warrior, or because I'm not HUMAN anymore?
Every... every THOUGHT in my head... every time I get ANGRY... is it ME or
some ANIMAL URGE disguising itself as me?"

"Perhaps you seek a distinction that does not exist any more."

"That's EVEN WORSE! Zade is gone, Blaymore... now I'm something ELSE
COMPLETELY!"

"Something that you don't want to be."

"Exactly!"

"Assuming you cannot be cured, then you will either adjust to what you
are... or you will die trying. Either fate is more noble than simply
giving up and throwing your life away."

"You're taking this a lot better than I thought you would, Blaymore."

"I was angry," said Blaymore. "Angry at what I thought someone had done to
you. Then I realized a few things."

"Such as?"

"I've killed a few werewolves in my travels. I've also fought alongside a
few. Some see it as a disease... others a curse... others as simply
another species of life. Whichever it is... what YOU become as a result of
it is entirely up to YOU. True, you can become an animal... or you can
become a stronger warrior."

"I'm strong enough."

"Strong enough to face this with the courage that you show in any OTHER
battle? This one is no different, Zade. Just another fight. You can
win or lose. It's up to you."

"I don't want to fight."

"Then you are a coward. There are times when you can chose not to fight,
Zade... this is NOT one of them. You eliminated that option when you
sought to commit crimes of violence against the brewery and its owners.
You have already entered the arena. Fate has chosen your opponent. Now
all you can do is fight... or fall upon your own sword to avoid the foe that
frightens you."

"I'm not frightened. I'm not AFRAID of what I am... I'm disgusted by it."

"People don't kill themselves out of disgust. You ARE frightened. You are
terrified of what you must endure to finally control what you've become.

"I know struggle," said Zade. "And I've endured much... a lot of it
because of you."

"Then why not this?"

"Don't you understand, Blaymore... I've CHANGED! WHO and WHAT I am is now
entirely different!"

"Not entirely. And we all change, Zade-"

"Oh YEAH! So what time of the month do YOU sprout fangs and run around on
all fours!"

"Everything that happens to you changes you. Every event in your life...
every conversation you had, or avoided. Every fight you won or lost.
Every one of them changed you. You became different as a result of it."

"Not THIS different! Not like THIS!"

"It's just a matter of degree."

"Easy for you to say!"

"Zade, I have suffered things that I cannot even speak of-"

"Good for you! But that has nothing to do with ME!"

"But as much as I would have liked those things never to have happened... I
know that they are now a part of me. They helped to make me what I am-"

"But what you are didn't just suddenly get TORN away and replaced with
something else!"

"As a result of choices that YOU made, Zade. YOU are the victimizer...
NOT the victim. And now you find that one of your innocent victims wasn't
quite so innocent... and not as much of a victim as you thought. Now you
must bear the mark of that discovery upon your soul like any other event
from your past. You must accept it-"

"I CAN'T accept this!"

"You MUST! You did not choose to be born into slavery... but THIS you DID
choose! Whether driven by choice or by fate, you must ACCEPT your lot in
life before you can do ANYTHING to control it! It is true for ALL men...
all women and children... elves, dragons, dwarves and hobgoblins...
EVERYTHING that lives! So WHY should it be different for YOU!"

"Okay..." said Zade. "Okay... fine... I'm a werewolf. I'm a monster.
I'm a... THING!"

"Werewolf, yes. Thing and monster? That choice has yet to be made."

"I can't control it, Blaymore. No matter WHAT I choose, on the next full
moon, I'm going to become a... creature."

"What cannot be controlled can be contained. By magic or by might."

"You make this seem like an mere inconvenience."

"It can be less than that with time. With the proper help. But you must
be willing to fight the battle. I know you, Zade... you do not fear
battle. You never have. Now is a very poor time to start."

"I'm not afraid. No matter WHAT you say, I AM NOT afraid!"

"Then do what must be done. Follow the warrior's path."

"But what I'm NOT willing to do is bow down before some... some ridiculous
IMAGINARY gods worshipped by some FAT-"

"Zade... do what must be done. That is the definition true courage."

"This says the man who RAN AWAY when the people who loved and depended on
him needed him the MOST!!"

"We're not talking about me, Zade."

Zade turned away from the river and looked out at the city.

"Fine," she said. "I'll fight the battle. I'll beat this thing... one
way or another. I'll do it by myself if I have to."

"That's not what I meant. I wouldn't suggest-"

"You've done enough talking, Blaymore. I've got to get back to work."

Zade walked away, but paused after only a few yards. She looked back at
the empty space where she'd been standing. She wet her lips...
hesitated... then sighed and resolved herself to say words that she had
never thought would pass her lips.

"Thanks, Blaymore. But this changed NOTHING between us!"

Then she quickly walked back toward the heart of the city.

"No need to thank me," said Blaymore. "What are brothers for?"

[END]





copyright 2000 by Marc Washington (Dark Icon)and Greg Dewey